Carry it with you

Former editor-in-chief of KYKY.org and former head of communications for Tikhanovskaya's office, Nastia Rogatko, has released a book titled "Carry With You"

The book's slogan is "all of this could have happened to us, or it might not have." The shortest answer to the questions "what kind of book is it and what is it about?" is an ironic autofiction in stories that will make you want to live – accepting who you are and where you come from. The author elaborates on the idea in a letter to the reader on the website nosissoboj.com. There you can also read text excerpts, reviews, order the book online (cost – 20 euros with automatic conversion to other currencies + shipping), and learn about plans for translations into foreign languages.

About the book:

"Carry With You" is a collection of 12 and a half stories in the autofiction genre about how to live when the instructions run out. It includes chapters on emigration, relationships with former and current loved ones, political and journalistic backstage dealings, friendships and sexual relationships, war, and the search for one's own identity in a situation where the country where you were born (Russia) is bombing the country of your childhood (Ukraine) from the territory of the country where you grew up (Belarus). Despite all this, they say the book is funny and easy to read.

How did this book come about? Nastia's answer:

"I had three reasons to write this book. The first is that this is how I overcome my own existential crisis, seeking new meanings instead of the old ones that have exhausted themselves. I think many are familiar with this state, as the world turned out to be much more fragile than we thought.

The second reason is that I wanted not to forget important feelings and discoveries. Memory will inevitably shroud everything in fog, and I wanted to успеть to record the very idea that there was also a lot of love in that time. What an irony: under censorship, fiction can be the only way to tell the truth.

The third reason is that after working at Tikhanovskaya's Office, I developed a constant background anger that the world talks about Belarus and our region using anyone's voices but ours. And it constantly simplifies our situation to make it more convenient. This is how Belarus turned into Schrödinger's country: either a victim country or an aggressor country. I wanted to write a book about what always remains between the lines, is cut from speeches, and disappears from headlines. Therefore, part of the earnings will go towards translating sample chapters for sending to international literary agents. This is the main experiment for me."

The introduction to the book reads: "Someday, any era turns into lines in history textbooks. That's why I wrote a book about what won't be in them. Can everything written here be trusted? That's for you to decide. This isn't a memoir, but a jewel box: big and small moments from life that would have been easier to forget or discard, but we still prefer to carry with us."

Here is a list of the book's chapters:

1. Sometimes Belarus turns into a joke
2. And how do you remember the first day of the war? (a heavy chapter, but short)
3. It happens – you start talking about the most vulnerable things with a stranger in the traumatology corridor
4. There are two ideological concerns in Belarus: "Long Live Belarus" and "Flourish, Belarus"
5. How we slowly become ghosts to each other (emigration lo-fi)
6. People eat the same way at funerals and weddings
7. I want
8. What we talked about with Patriarch Kirill
9. Pity the old woman (censored)
10. It's like talking to a childhood friend at three in the morning in the kitchen (and he's about to say something that will expose you and thereby release you)
11. In speechwriter jargon, this chapter would be called a tear-jerker
12. Have you never wanted to invent another you?
13. Everything (of course)

"Carry With You" is a self-published book; everything from the text to the cover design and website was done by Nastia Rogatko herself. The photo on the book's cover is by Lina Tsapova. "Since you're already looking at this cover, sewn with my skin, why don't you let me under yours?" is written on the back. The cover concept is that the book collects stories about people, events, and emotions that leave a mark on our lives – like tattoos on the body.

About the author:

Nastia Rogatko grew up in Belarus, although she was born in Russia (Novorossiysk) and spent her childhood in Ukraine (Zolotonosha). In August 2020, along with the KYKY.org editorial team, she left Minsk after the co-founder's arrest. KYKY was later recognized as an extremist organization. In the autumn of 2020, Nastia joined the team of democratic forces leader Sviatlana Tikhanovskaya in Vilnius as head of communications. After leaving the Office in 2023, she co-founded the strategic communications agency StratcomLab. She currently lives in Warsaw and is publishing her book.